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Discussion Starter #1
I thought it may be polite to unclutter our forum friends threads from our non-motorcycle related nonsense and still maintain a level of humor and stupidity to keep idiots like me interested. I would welcome all forms of nonsense here until such time it becomes a chore or annoyance. So let er rip. Anyone with trivia or recipe for worn tire stew or drain oil soup now is your chance to post your foolishness before I get started.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
I thought this might become a catch all for ideas and nonsense, but even though my inventions and ideas have been recycled and reused and borrowed and perfected I still thought it worthwhile to brag a bit of several of my racing inventions. I raced dead engine start racing many decades ago and devised a method of fast dead engine starts that was flat lethal and nearly foolproof. As a former drag racer I developed good start reflexes that served me well with many race wins, some well earned and some just damn lucky. But a dead engine start needs a bit luck and an advantage and you can make your luck if you can find an advantage. For those not familiar with this type of start, the rider is standing on track next to bike with left hand only on left handlebar grip with feet facing rearward no further back than front axle centerline. When start flag is dropped the riders will quickly mount bike and slap Kickstarter to start motor and shift trans into gear and engage clutch in several quick motions and as you might expect lots and lots of room for mistakes and engine stalls and riders looping out at start or jumping clear off their bikes. I have pictures and memories of these crashfests 30 years later. I invented several modifications and equipped my trusty 1985 CR 250 to rule the race track back in the day. Details to follow as time permits. Trying to find pictures as well. Stay tuned
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I’ve never seen other riders use my dead engine dirty tricks, and I’m not sure if they would be relevant or useful today with electric start use. One simple easy trick was to make the bike lower and thus easier to swing my short leg over the tall seat was to take several plastic wire ties linked together and loop them through drive sprocket and around rear sub frame while I compressed rear suspension and lowered rear of bike on starting line. This lowered the bike when starting and normal rotation of sprocket cut wire tie and restored normal suspension action after bike powered away from start. It also pissed off my competitors and caused me a few protests. Sore losers!! So my next trick was to ask my wife to casually walk to starting chute after the race was well underway and pick up the bits of wire tie evidence off ground.. thanks babe!! Here hold my trophy will ya?
More later
 

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Discussion Starter #5
To finish this holeshot madness during my refuse to lose years, the last bit of kick start tricks was used to position kick start lever 15 or 20 degrees from vertical plane. If you look at kickers they retract to a 12:00 position and require a rearward kick. Well if you could stop it at 10:30 it would only require a downstroke and no wasted motion used to start motor and get feet on pegs and move ahead of those poor bastards kicking and cussing and sitting on start line trying to get started and gone. My secret was developed from jamming a stick between air box and rear frame for testing and development and later a small plastic stop arm that folded out on pivot clamp on frame and fell down after kicker moved on downstroke and remained out of sight. Once it was perfected I could jump over lowered bike and catch kicker and start motor and get going quicker than a dog chasing a fast rabbit. Lots of holeshots but I did get some stinkeye dirty looks from my racing buddies...
 

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Discussion Starter #6
why i like getting the holeshot

while digging through piles of old pictures looking for a few to post here i found this old local ametuer motocross start from the mid 1990s and examination of the mayhem pictured reminded me of why i practiced starts more than any other riding skill. to stay out in front of these guys. :surprise:
 

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Discussion Starter #7 (Edited)
bit of dirt bike trivia

after searching my photo archives i was able to dig up a few pictures of my 1985 Honda CR250 hare scramble bike mentioned previously. found one taken after a mud race and one in my shop. other pic is a 1982 XR500 for ice racing. circa 1980 something
 

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Discussion Starter #8
in search of a 2 stroke killing 250

i recently posted old 250 honda engine photos on @Rangermans thread and was reminded the effort and development that went into the original configuration of that engine. i had learned my preference for 4stroke dirt trackers as the smooth power complemented my riding style on my open class bikes and decided to build a 250 4stroke motor to compete in the super competitive 350 class. the 250 was half the power of the 2smokers that ruled the roost. i used a 350 yamaha piston modified to fit honda and cut valve reliefs and dome for 14-1 compression and used huge valves from honda street bike and shortened to fit and reamed guides for larger stems and flowed and ported head. webcam supplied camshaft. flywheel and balancer shafts were removed and plugged and crankshaft was machined to accept suzuki rm125 ignition and honda engine cover was modified to fasten suzuki stator on movable plate for external timing adjustments necessary to get timing set correctly with honda ignition trigger and module and suzuki alternator. the small flywheel rotor was the size of a silver dollar and allowed motor to rev quickly but was tricky to develop. i nearly gave up on the idea,until i finally made a fixture to spin ignition on my lathe until i could make it work with honda trigger and module.ran well on dyno with 38mm carburetor and with 310cc it was only giving up 7hp to the 265cc cheater 250 2strokes most guys were running. thats close enough for me. the stock 350 air cooled stuff was under 30 horsepower and my stock rod 310 cheater motor was just over 36 horsepower but the power hit like a hammer and pulled hard and hooked up anywhere on the track.lack of balancer shafts and flywheel made motor vibrate the bolts out of everything on bike, but sacrifice of reliability pays back in instant violent throttle response like a 2stroke with a long nasty powerband. i built a bike around this motor and named her the snotty bitch from hell. will post race results at a later date
 

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The holeshot matters...

while digging through piles of old pictures looking for a few to post here i found this old local ametuer motocross start from the mid 1990s and examination of the mayhem pictured reminded me of why i practiced starts more than any other riding skill. to stay out in front of these guys. :surprise:
I had to chuckle a bit when I saw the guy in the middle of the pack looking like he was launching a rocket ship into space.:001_huh::no::fpalm::yelrotflmao:
 

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Good photos...

after searching my photo archives i was able to dig up a few pictures of my 1985 Honda CR250 hare scramble bike mentioned previously. found one taken after a mud race and one in my shop. other pic is a 1982 XR500 for ice racing. circa 1980 something
I really like that CR500!
Wouldn't it be something if they would reintroduce a popular "retro" dirtbike model like they have done before in the past with street bikes?
I would find it difficult to resist a new production "retro" CR500 2T!


Rangerman:roost:
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Where's my invite? Or a mention?
You b-stards holdin out on me??
Just sh-tin ya ay!!
You knew I would stumble across it sooner than later.
So far the thread doesn't look to shabby, haven't come across any pig hunting or Armadillos or tripe yet.
Bloody good read so far I reckon.
Won't take long to polute it with foolery though.

Ever dressed up in costume to race Auggie?
You guys ever heard of mortal combat? And the character Scorpion?

Friend of mine found this shocker. My last muck around flat track day. Just exiting the track for the next heat to start.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Ah crap!!! Sorry @DW!! Forgive my lack of forum manners as I am new to all this stuff. I was hoping to stumble around and learn proper forum manners before I started pissing everyone off. Ah well. Another failure!! I started this mess over here to avoid cluttering up other posts with my rambling and nonsense...hope you and others will join in and add to our folly. Just sayin....and be sure to [email protected] as well.....I don’t wanna piss him off either. Cheers
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Ay @DW!! I think mortal combat is some sort of video game? I don’t know much about that stuff. But after studying that picture ya posted there I was thinking we hand that guy a friggin spear and send him off in the bush lookin for pigs..just sayin
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Ah crap!!! Sorry @DW!! Forgive my lack of forum manners as I am new to all this stuff. I was hoping to stumble around and learn proper forum manners before I started pissing everyone off. Ah well. Another failure!! I started this mess over here to avoid cluttering up other posts with my rambling and nonsense...hope you and others will join in and add to our folly. Just sayin....and be sure to [email protected] as well.....I don’t wanna piss him off either. Cheers
Far from p-ssed off mate. Was just pullin ya leg ay.
Perfect idea to have a thread where we can spin some sh-t. Stops all the clutter in the informative threads.
@cors187 won't give a flyin as I bet ya he thinks it's a great idea as well. He is pretty laid back as after all he is an Aussie hiding out in the northern hemmi somewhere.
So I can turn me spell check orf, and me gramma and punctuition and let loose.

As long as whoever wants to join in realises that I sh-t stir and not to take me seriously.

Got another pic of a business over here.
This ones in brisvegus.
I wonder how a female receptionist would go answering the dog n bone at the below joint.

(You might have to blow it up a bit to read it)
 

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Discussion Starter #15
funny as balls

yeah. mike hunt used cars and his warranty service manager is named Juan Jablowme?? mechanic is Ben Dover and his sister Eileen Dover runs the office over there. dirty mess over there>:)
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Hey @ DW!!! I have this attachment on my yank tank over here and you fellows were calling it a jumper thumper or a hopper bopper or something. We don’t have no hoppers up here except for in the friggin zoo. We puts em on our “utes” to tenderize the deer when they wander into the road. Maybe we should call that gadget a Bambi bopper or something?? Maybe drive the front of the truck over the barbecue pit so you don’t even have to lift that heavy bastard off your catcher. Better check the truck for fuel leaks first....just sayin
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Hopper knocker mate, but close enough.

You got the right idea though, as long as after ya knock em with ya hopper knocker, throw em in the back while they're still fresh mate.
Then chuck em on a spit mate.

We got a few deer over here to. Haven't mowed down any of them yet.
What do they taste like?
 

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We got a few deer over here to. Haven't mowed down any of them yet.
What do they taste like?
taste like a cross between Bald Eagle and Manatee
 

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Discussion Starter #19
They all taste like gamey meat. It’s all the same stuff. Cattle got nothing to fear from friggin deer. You can’t ever make deer taste like steak. They got some hippie farmers that feed deer grain and sell the meat and I heard it tastes better than wild deer. Never had it. We have the Amish folks out here that are all organic farmers and the pork and beef is fantastic without all the hormones and all that crap that is added to most store bought meats. I get all my food at the market. I don’t shoot nothing unless it’s creeping around my property uninvited
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Ok fellas. Roo's a bit the same I suppose. A bit gamey. Unless they have been fattening up on some poor old cocky's weat paddock. That makes em a little tastier.
Or maybe if you mince em up and chuck a bit of other crap with it and make em into bangers there not so bad.
Don't mind a bit of boongchook, tastes alright and the salties taste a bit like chicken.
So much easier these days to just buy it all from the butcher shop though.
Lot of work if you're doin it yourself.
 
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