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Discussion Starter #581
Another great day at the drag strip. The dog loves this steel Anglia race car. I'm re-living my youth with these retro race cars without the busted knuckles and empty bank account. Note the handsome fellow in photo is wearing appropriate footwear....the Clayton Smith Cams decal on this cars engine cover was my team signature trademark back in the day and transferred to my motorcycle racing program later on in my racing career. My detractors called me "team peckerhead" I called them adios MFers
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Well we are trying to teach these northern hemi folks how to speak Aussie, here's a translation list for our neighbours. Try gettin ya laughing gear around this one.
 

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You verstehen?


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"..
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f"..
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
 

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Discussion Starter #586

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Which one of the Spice Girls can carry most fuel ?





Gerri Can :)
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Geez Jamo, watduya call that sh-t? Don't let us get stuck into the corny jokes now.:ROFLMAO:
 

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Discussion Starter #589
Geez Jamo, watduya call that sh-t? Don't let us get stuck into the corny jokes now.:ROFLMAO:
Awright then...
Q. Whazit that has a thousand teeth and guards a monster??
A. The zipper on my trousers:cautious:
 

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Our resident Coastal Carpet Python. Figured @Spartacus would enjoy the native wildlife.
Awright then...
Q. Whazit that has a thousand teeth and guards a monster??
A. The zipper on my trousers:cautious:


Sent from my CPH1701 using Tapatalk
Our resident Coastal Carpet Python. Figured @Spartacus would enjoy the native wildlife.


Sent from my CPH1701 using Tapatalk
Hope it's dead now .... only good snake is a dead one!
 

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Dirt Wizard
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Not at all. Only a baby and totally harmless to humans and dogs just not to the geckos lol

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And maybe a few bigger lizards.
This is the local one we have living around here. I wondered where all the bearded dragons went about 12 months ago.
Soon figured it out when we found this up a tree out the back of the neighbours.
"That bearded dragon was about 1/2 a metre long"
 

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And maybe a few bigger lizards.
This is the local one we have living around here. I wondered where all the bearded dragons went about 12 months ago.
Soon figured it out when we found this up a tree out the back of the neighbours.
"That bearded dragon was about 1/2 a metre long"
Bloody hell that's a biggun

Sent from my CPH1701 using Tapatalk
 

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Discussion Starter #596
:oops: just great:oops:just friggin great
Thanks a friggin ton @AliceNicho
Thanks a friggin bunch girl!!
Now I gotta spend the rest of my day trying to un see what I friggin saw today.....ah my poor eyeso_O
 

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:oops: just great:oops:just friggin great
Thanks a friggin ton @AliceNicho
Thanks a friggin bunch girl!!
Now I gotta spend the rest of my day trying to un see what I friggin saw today.....ah my poor eyeso_O
Oh ****, knew I forgot to tag someone it's hysterical so just enjoy the laugh lol and "call me maybe"

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Discussion Starter #598

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Discussion Starter #599
Another big day at the drag strip. Vintage cars and bikes burning up the track. I never saw hand shifted, foot clutch motorcycles drag race before today. The old flathead dragsters and vintage race cars were a treat. Great day at the races. Love that old vintage iron. Can't wait until the next race....
 

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Discussion Starter #600
An elderly spinster woman found a lamp with a genie inside and upon rubbing lamp genie appeared and offered the woman any wish she desired. The old woman quickly decided her wish was to turn her sweet and lovable tomcat into a strapping and handsome young man to serve her as she pleased. The old woman rushed home to find her loyal tomcat was transformed into a tall handsome young man. She ordered the handsome man to carry her to her room for a night of passion. The young man swept her off the floor and carried her towards her room. As he carried her away he gave the woman a wink and a sneer and said to her" I'll bet you're sorry you had me neutered......aren't ya bitch"
 
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